It's now 6 weeks since I had my surgery for the missed miscarriage. Thankfully the time has flown by, I think because I'm back at work and Mike is keeping me busy with house projects. I feel better than I did, both emotionally and physically which is such a relief. I just wish my cycle … Continue reading Six week rollercoaster
As I head into 2019 I'm at a bit of a loss. Obviously I was expecting this year to be half pregnancy and half new baby with my 30th birthday and maternity leave to look forward to. Now I don't know what 2019 is to me. Just getting through each day right now is a … Continue reading So what is it time for?
I had a pm asking me if Eden was the name we gave to our baby and it made me realise that actually my blog name makes no sense, well to anyone other than me that is! Eden wasn't our baby's name. She didn't get a name really, just nicknames. But Eden was our baby. … Continue reading Who is Eden?
I feel like it's been ages since I posted here. The last week has been a bit of a blur. It's now 3.5 weeks since my D&C procedure and all last week I just knew there was something wrong. I called the EPU over and over telling them I hadn't stopped bleeding and I'd lost … Continue reading One step back
If it's one thing I'm learning about miscarriage it's that if a person hasn't gone through it they just don't get it. They ask how you are but they don't want to hear anything back other than happy things, desperately hoping that they don't have to offer up any further support. I'm beginning to feel … Continue reading Don’t feel ashamed to grieve
So I survived my first day back at work. Eight hours of fighting back tears and battling emails. My inbox full of post Christmas baby announcements for me to file maternity letters and dates for. Even the tech guy I called proudly stated that he may not be able to help me next week as … Continue reading Should have, could have
Today is my first day back at work since the scan and finding out our baby was never going to be. It's been three weeks now and I still feel raw. I've made it the whole five minute walk to the bus stop and I'm already in tears. I used to chat away to little … Continue reading Back to reality
Miscarriage is shit. It's heartbreaking and lonely and unfair. You are literally left picking up the pieces of a life you had already dreamt into something new, hurting and bitter. I have been so sad and so angry. I have at least one breakdown a day and the rest of the time I'm just thinking … Continue reading Stepping out
After seeing Tiny Tummy Bean fluttering away in my tummy, the next five days flew by up to my booking in appointment with the midwife. Mike and I sat in the waiting room at the GP Surgery laughing at me eating baked ready salted crisps to desperately try to stop my morning sickness. We were … Continue reading Weeks 8 to 10 – the end
Returning to work after our week at the cottage was pretty odd. As society etiquette dictates I was keeping hush about my little secret until the 12 week scan. I sat and smiled to myself knowing that there was a tiny baby hiding out inside me. On the Monday of week 5 I had a … Continue reading Weeks 4 to 7 – symptoms and spotting