After months of being glued to the Internet filling my head with statistics and horror stories about miscarriage and infertility I decided I had to stop. It was affecting my mental health and almost keeping me in this constant state of misery. I’m not the same as I was before losing our baby and I never will be the same. It’s never going to be a positive experience. It has made me see people in a new light and allowed me access into one of the worst exclusive members clubs going. One thing is for sure and that is people need to learn to behave so much better towards miscarriage. I’ve been completely appalled by some of the reactions and experiences I have had over the last few months and I pity those individuals I really do.
So what now??
With the return of my period last month I hope this means my body is healing and starting afresh. Hopefully this year we will be lucky enough to conceive a successful pregnancy and create our little family. There’s nothing I wish for more than the dream of holding our baby. I won’t lie I’m absolutely terrified, all I can think about is another miscarriage or problems with the baby and that’s if I even manage to get pregnant. I guess I will deal with those hurdles if/when I get to them.
For now I’m avoiding the evil pull of Google and trying to think positive. We have loads going on with decorating the house, planning my 30th birthday trip to the Big Apple and me starting my new job in 6 weeks!